It is normal that parents disagree, but involving your children with high level of conflict/destructive tactics can negatively affect their emotions, social interactions and behavior. Most children raised in environments of destructive conflict have problems forming healthy, balanced relationships with their future partner. They can also have difficulties with concentration and educational achievement. Sadly, these conflicts can affect even 6 months old! 19-year-olds remained sensitive to parental conflict. Contrary to what one might hope, Kids don’t get used to it. Destructive tactics that parents use with each other that harm children:Verbal aggression like name-calling, insults, and threats of abandonment;Physical aggression like hitting and pushing;Silent tactics like avoidance, walking out, or withdrawing.Pretending—giving in that might look like a solution but isn’t a true one.Some parents may think that they can avoid affecting their children by pretending to reach solution, in order to end an argument. But that’s not an effective tactic it can be more harmful! Nonverbal anger and refusing to communicate or cooperate—are damaging. Kids understand hostility, when parents withdraw and become emotionally unavailable. They just know things are wrong. When parents go behind closed doors and come out acting like they worked it out, the kids can detect that. They’ll see you’re pretending.How to make a conflict work?Let them witness a healthy argument and see you fixing it! Show them how people work things out. Discuss things openly in a healthy and understanding way. they’re actually happier than they were before they saw it. We know this by the feelings they show, what they say, and their behavior—they run off and play. Children feel more emotionally secure, their internal resources are freed up for positive developmental growth, and their own pro-social behavior toward others is enhanced. In fact, many child behavior problems can be solved by simply improving the quality of the parents’ relationship alone! However, other tender issues are more respectfully conducted without an audience.We encourage parents to get the help they need to learn to communicate better—from parenting programs, from books, or from a therapist.